The Social Dilemma- the need to be liked, an obsession or just a fleeting want?

Just a few likes, why is my post always receiving the least of likes? am I really pretty? is the filter too bad? may be there’s a need to improvise on my looks, that friend of mine is always receiving too many likes, so she is happy? its time to change, guess iam just an ugly duckling, no one’s ever going to like my pictures or me, but why ?

literally all of us would have gone through this dilemma isn’t it? the confusion of am I really enough? so, why does this actually happen? let’s us talk about the pressure to feel accepted by the world outside, let us try to understand why, we always feel insignificantly broken when it comes to the world of social media, let us ponder the why factor.

The fear of being left out and Dopamine- the feel good phenomenon.

1. one of the primary reasons why we usually stick onto a social media platform is because we humans are social in nature and we crave attention and acceptance from people around us, hence the constant postings online and craving attention,
2. dopamine, is the neurotransmitter that releases the feel good factor into our blood stream, and whenever there is a like for any of our posts, there is a surge in the presence of dopamine, thus leading to the increase in the feel good factor, and once the feel good factor gets habituated, becoming a part of our everyday routine, we begin craving for it, because a pattern has been established, the reinforcement motivating the human psyche, thus contributing to obsessive tendencies to post frequently.
3. The fear of being left out- thrown away from the community, it might sound silly, I mean come on, would someone really exclude you from their circle just because you failed to click on that single like button? or would you feel bad for not being a part of the group selfie that was posted from your organization, what do you feel? its real isn't it? and it gets complicated, because we humans crave for love no matter in whatever form or shape that is.

what do we do then? is there a way to overcome this need?

obviously there are million possible ways through which we can overcome the need for acceptance and love online, how do we go ahead?

1. look at yourself in the mirror and say that you love yourself, because self love is the only way to overcome the need for someone else’s approval, I know its hard, but one step at a time yeah?
2. keep a watch on your screen time, time yourself and when the time exceeds, take a break for a few minutes, its definitely works.
3. and then, for the most difficult task ever, try to live in the real world of zero filters and fake likes.

However at the end of the day, what matters the most is your happiness, which iam very sure is not a fleeting moment, so instead of leaning onto someone else for attention, let us lean onto ourselves, let us make sure that the dopamine is at its peak of joy when we look at ourselves in the mirror and profess self love.